Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Myspace Rules!

I checked my Myspace. You know your day is boring when you do that. I hadn't seen my inbox in maybe a year. It was loaded with hundreds of ads for new albums and music shows, stuff like...

Hi. You might not know me, or care if I live or die, but I am definitely Jasper Jack, the Jukebox Junkie, whoring my services out to you through the once-popular Myspace. If you haven't heard of me, I feel sad for you. I am so incredibly unbelievable - wild, like a force of nature, or a lightning storm, or something really deep and meaningful like that. Anyway, I'm here peddling my new album, "Pimple on a Monkey's Ass," available for $15.99 on iTunes. Don't have an account? No money? No sweat! I'll be writing you again real soon, my friend.

I have some live shows coming up - should be totally sick. You should definitely show up. Bring a hot friend.  
Myspace rules!

I can't figure out why I haven't deleted the account yet. 
Maybe I'm sentimental.



Paul said...

That message is hilarious! He manages to make "I'll be writing you again real soon, my friend," sound vaguely threatening! :-)


Angus said...

Made that one up. That's funny - it does sound ominous.